Love and Marriage ~ They go together like a horse and carriage
Should I get married??
Marriage vs Love: Pay Attention to the “You, Me, and We”
In counselling sessions, I often hear clients wrestle with the difference between love and marriage. One is the spark, the chemistry, the pull. The other is the structure, the commitment, the day-in-day-out.
If you’re in a relationship—whether it’s new or long established—consider this:
Pay attention.
Pay attention to three essential elements:
· The You
· The Me
· The We
You be you. That’s who your partner fell in love with. Don’t let them—or the demands of life—squeeze you into someone you’re not. Keep cultivating your individuality.
Let her be her. Support her growth. Give her the space and time to grow, because that’s who you fell in love with, too. And as both of you change over time, notice it. Ask:
“Is this a good change? A heard one? One worth exploring?”
Now, the We
Don’t neglect it. Water the plant. Feed the connection. There was a reason the we came to be. There’s value in the we, especially when you start seeing each other’s blind spots and learning to speak the hard truths with compassion.
When it feels hard to talk—lean in. That’s the difference between love and marriage.
One is emotion. The other is work.
However........................both can be sacred if you pay attention.
Barbara Mulski
Registered Clinical Counsellor
Relationship, anxiety, anger, depression